Saturday, March 9, 2013

Impressing Cute Boys at the Airport

I am writing this post from something-thousand feet in the air (I will post it from the hotel later). We are currently flying past the Outer Banks which naturally makes me so ready to get my toes in the sand and soak up the sun. Luckily for me, in a couple of hours I am going to be in a place where I can do just that!
I am on a flight to Tampa where I will spend 5 days watching baseball, eating nothing but ballpark fare and seafood, and soaking up the sun on a couple of beautiful Gulf Coast beaches. But, in order to get there, I have to fly. Okay, we could drive, but I am absolutely 100% positive that I would not be speaking to my dad by the time we hit Atlanta which would make for a really long week.
Flying out this morning and not having time to fully process my morning coffee from the McDonalds inside the terminal (oh heyyy 7:52am departure) reminded me of all the things that annoy me at the airport. Have you ever seen the Jenna Marbles "What Bitches Wear at the Airport" video? No? Go watch it. Girl hits the nail on the head. I seriously watched a woman struggle with her 5 inch stilettos, oversized purse, coffee, and designer dog carrier with an obnoxious yappy dog, all while trying to talk on the cell phone. Seriously, who the hell are you impressing at 7am? The William and Mary Men's Lacrosse Team, who also happened to be at the airport? Oh okay, understandable (thank god, I took the extra second this morning to put on makeup).
But seriously, keep it somewhat practical. Don't wear those shoes with five thousand buckles and no zippers...WHY? You hold up the already long-as-anything TSA line (unless your dad has the express line club thing...thank The Lord). Again, the W&M lacrosse team is cute and totally worth impressing, but if you make them miss their flight because you wanted to look like a gladiator, they will want to throw your butt in the Coliseum.
Sticking with the TSA line rant, take off the jewelry while you are standing in line twiddling your thumbs. Just do it. Don't sit there and debate if it is going to set off any alarms or struggle with the clasps of your bracelet stacks and necklaces blocking all progress. Pop it off in line, throw it all in the bucket, and then put it back on when you get out or get to the gate. Everyone in line will love you for it, especially those cute lacrosse players ;)
Oh, and prior to the TSA line, while everyone and their mother waits to check their bag, please make sure you know the weight. 50 pounds people, every time. It can only weigh 50 lbs. If you are a little unsure (like I was), then know what to take out. My bag was over by 1.5 lbs, I reached in and grabbed out my jewelry bag, which was strategically placed right on top, in case this needed to happen, and voila 49 lbs and I was good to go. And we can just ignore the fact that I apparently travelled with 2.5 lbs of jewelry...
Lastly, lets be reasonable with what we bring to eat on the plane. Coffee is great and, in my case, keeps my head on my shoulders in the mornings. Just because they sell it in the terminal, doesn't mean you should bring it. This applies to sandwiches with fish, sauerkraut, etc. This also applies to full meals. Yes, frat star with the pancake breakfast from McDonalds, I'm looking at you. There actually isn't enough room in our tiny coach seats for you to slice and dice the pancakes and also, you should have pancakes with syrup...not the other way around. Plus, less eating, more flirting with cute lacrosse players!
So, now my flight is going to start to descend and I am going to shut off my iPad, close my tray, adjust my seat, and not go to the bathroom just like the Flight Attendant asked me to, because I am 20 and can follow directions. Again, impressing the lacrosse players with my traveling skills. 


disclaimer: Okay, the lacrosse players weren't actually on my flight (mega bummer)...but they were nice eye candy while checking my baggage and going through security.
p.s. both of my outfits from today will be posted in a joint post later tonight!

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