Thursday, November 14, 2013

The Truth.

I am not the prettiest.
Not even close. 
I never have been and I never will be.
I have been told I was undatable due to not being pretty enough to have the sports knowledge I do and for being too sarcastic.
My brothers are more attractive than me. They know it, I know it, people who see us know it.
Sometimes I don't want to post a picture with them because of that.
I am the least athletic in my family and my klutziness is a running joke.
I am not a size zero. I have hips and a butt and they aren't going anywhere.
This isn't going to change because I like to eat...and it isn't always healthy food.
My head is big, as is my nose.
My smile is crooked.
My hair is flat (no matter what I do) and I hardly know anything about makeup.
I am beautiful.
Just the way I am.
I have amazing friends and family who make me feel this way.
Sports are the best. I won't stop loving them just because it emasculates somebody. Trust me, you'll have me beat on car knowledge...oh, and soccer. As for my sarcasm, it's humor, and you not liking it doesn't mean it isn't funny.
My brothers love and support me. They know it, I know it, and people who see us are envious of our relationship.
I still post photos of us because love and happiness is beauty.
Last year I ran a 17.75k and a half marathon, the rest of my family didn't. My klutziness makes my family and friends laugh and provides for some great stories.
Some girls wish they had my curves.
I have learned to appreciate and cook good food, so of course I am going to eat it.
Maybe my head is big because I have so many ideas? I'd say Barbra Streisand is amazing, big nose and all, and Jenna Lyons is absolutely inspiring.
My smile makes me unique and I won't hide it because smiling can improve even the worst of days.
My little cousin says I have "princess" hair and not being proficient at putting on makeup saves time and money.
I am beautiful, just the way I am.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
This post probably seems a bit out of the blue, but on Tuesday I became really self-conscious about how I look. It was one of those instances where my friends were commenting on a guy I know and I realized just how much more attractive he was than like an "he's out of your league" kind of way. I don't really know why this particular case bothered me, it's not like I had been thinking of him as a potential date or anything, but it happened all the same. I try really hard to not worry about stuff like that. I believe beauty comes from within, but sometimes this feeling of insecurity sneaks up. It is okay to be self-conscious and worry sometimes, but at the end of the day, you have to think up a list like this to see your value. I started this list laying in bed that night, wide awake because I was so down on myself.
I am not going to pretend that I am suddenly the most confident girl in school. In fact, I am pretty shy around people I don't know. This feeling of being insecure with my image is still here, but eventually it will fade. It will start to disappear because I am aware of it and I have the ability to tell myself that I am better than that. I have other things to offer. I may not look like a model, but I have a good head on my shoulders, a sense of humor, and, I'd like to think, good fashion sense. And you know what, some guys want the girl next door.


just a note: This post is not meant as for a pity party for me. In fact, I hesitated to post it because I didn't want it to come across that way. I wrote it because it is how I feel and one of the things that I have learned from these last couple months of blogging is that I am not alone in my experiences. Thank you to Bry, K-Soms, and Kyle for encouraging me to publish this. Insecurities are fine and they are normal, but let's not let them define us...we deserve better than that.
Oh, and don't forget, all y'all are beautiful, because beauty is about more than a pretty face. Looks fade, happiness endures. 
with my two favorite guys, crooked smile and all


  1. I think it is truly crazy to see how people view themselves vs. how other people view them. We are so critical of our appearance, our intelligence, and every teeny aspect of our lives. While people just looking in, usually have a totally different perspective. For instance, I never even realized that you had a crooked smile. Your smile always lights up your face, and that's what I noticed. This post hit home in a lot of ways, and I am appreciative that you did post it!

  2. Erin you're beautiful! Don't think any other way

  3. Love you, love this post and most importantly, love that a beautiful, confident, intelligent and witty woman wrote this. You are my endless source of joy, pride and utter amazement that you are related to me at all. I love you baby girl, forever and always-xoxo Momma

  4. Love this pots! Good for you for having the wonderful confidence that you do. Staying positive is the best thing a young woman can do!


  5. I have felt this way my entire life! Recently, however, I have grown to love my insecurities and my differences- they make us unique! It shows that we aren't a carbon copy of every other girl or person. Individuality is the best! I have always thought you were beautiful and I was envious of you! You are a cutie, a fashionista and fabulous. Never change, girl. You are one of my inspiration.

    xoxo Alex